Why we often fail

We often fail not because we didn’t plan very well or because we’re too lazy to plan or that we use the wrong approach. We fail sometimes because we are either in a haste to see result or we don’t invest our all in the process of planning. You see when things are going haywire and you found yourself in a lot of mess, you can hardly wait patiently to analyze the situation first and come up with many countermeasures in order to defeat that situation in one full swoop rather you will be so anxious to get away from it there by looking for an instant solution that may not last long. Most at times you can be very confused on how to go about it. At that time you can hardly invest your innate potential but you can choose to maneuver the situation. Sometimes you may decide to use other people’s opinions and suggestions which can be either positive or negative.

Also most of us fail sometimes because we didn’t plan very well for a rainy day. I once had a friend who likes to buy things in bulk and store them and use them slowly,at that time I thought that she was wasting her money on those things but I find out later that what I bought will not last for a month and I found myself struggling to keep up before the month runs out. I observed her and discovered that what I spent in six months,is more than what she spent in three months. I weighed the pros and cons and decided to adopt her method and I’m too glad I did because it helped me to plan myself and manage my income without putting myself under unnecessary pressure. So planning very well helps a lot but when you plan,see if your plan can carry you on a long term goal and not short term.

We sometimes failed because we may like to be like others around us forgetting that what works for Mr A may not work for you even if it’s the same problem.I have a neighbor who always quarrelled with his wife and in some occasions, the man may beat up his wife and we will go for peace talk and after the same problem will still reoccur.So I suggested to the wife that she should avoid talking back when the man is talking to avoid getting into trouble and she did and from that day henceforth, everything returned back to normal. Later, she told me that one of her friends is having the same problem in her marriage and suggested what I told her to the friend and her silence infuriated the man that he sent her packing saying that she was treating him as a fool. I sighed because I know perfectly well that what works for her can not work for her friend because every situation requires a special solution. Not all solutions works out.

If you must avoid failure in your life, marriage and career, you ought to know what works for you and go for it.

Submitting to Your Husband: Why It’s Good and How to Do It
Relationship
Submitting to Your Husband: Why It’s Good and How to Do It

In the age of feminism and equality, submitting to your husband may sound like a terribly outdated notion. You don’t want or need your husband’s permission to do anything — you’re an independent woman, after all! But surprisingly, there is some evidence that submission isn’t always bad; and it may even have some unexpected benefits.

Why Submitting to Your Husband Is Good
You may be thinking, ‘Well, of course, submitting to my husband is good, but only for him. I get absolutely nothing out of it!’ But actually, you’d be surprised by the benefits this simple act can have both for you and your marriage. Let’s take a look at a few!

  1. You Show Him That You Trust Him
    Marriage is supposed to be a union between two people who fully and completely trust each other. That means that you’re ready to give the reins over to your husband sometimes, especially when it comes to making decisions. After all, if you’re in a loving marriage, why should you be worried? Your husband is bound to make a choice that’s best for you both.

Now, you might think that your husband knows you trust him without you having to submit to him. But how would he? You need to show it to him — especially if you’re usually the one who makes all decisions. And what better way to do that than let him take control?

  1. You Will Influence Each Other
    In marriage, unity comes first, individuality second. Sure, you are still your own person, but you’ve also agreed to be a part of a couple and share your life with someone. That comes with many benefits, but also a few sacrifices. Your full independence is one of them.

That might be particularly hard to accept — but remember, it doesn’t mean you need to give up on your hobbies and dreams. It simply means that you should open up to your husband’s influence and allow him to change some aspects of you. And don’t worry — your husband should similarly allow you to influence him. That way, the two of you can grow together and become the best versions of yourselves!

  1. No Unnecessary Conflicts
    Are you butting heads with your husband over trivial things time and time again? It happens to married couples quite frequently — both parties firmly believe they’re right and refuse to give in. This behavior only leads to tension, arguments, and unnecessary stress.

And yet, all of that is entirely avoidable. Submitting to your husband will change your turbulent marriage into smooth sailing and make communication between you two much easier.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should always give in. If it’s really important to you that something goes your way, talk to your husband about it. Explain why you care so much, and he’ll likely agree with you in the end. But don’t forget to pick your battles.

  1. Your Marriage Will Flourish
    Some people will tell you that, in marriage, both the husband and the wife have their roles. For instance, the husband’s role is to lead, protect, and provide, while the wife’s purpose is to nurture, care, and support. When both spouses are fulfilling their respective roles, the marriage flourishes.

Now, you may not like this division into roles, but you can’t deny that each spouse has their own needs. Husbands want their wives to respect them and rely on them, while wives want to feel safe and cherished. By submitting to your husband, you fulfill his needs and encourage him to take care of yours too. And fulfilled needs ensure a long and happy marriage!

How to Submit to Your Husband
You now understand what the benefits of submitting to your husband are, but what exactly does it entail? There is a lot of misinformation out there, which causes many women to reject the notion outright. So let’s see what a real submissive wife should do, as well as what sort of behavior she shouldn’t accept.

  1. Let Him Take the Lead
    When it comes to managing the household and your marriage, you probably often feel your husband isn’t up to the task. Somehow it always seems that, if you don’t take things into your hands, they’ll never be done properly. You end up wearing the pants in your relationship and making most decisions.

While it may seem like he doesn’t mind this arrangement, it’s important to let your husband be in charge. That way, you show him that you value him and trust his judgment, and in turn, you’ll be relieved of some responsibility. Ultimately, when you both feel good about yourselves, your marriage will thrive.

  1. Ask Him for His Opinion
    You may be used to making some decisions on your own, such as buying household items, groceries, and managing the family budget in general. And your husband may be perfectly fine with this — but you should still ask him what he thinks.

Of course, you don’t need to call him and ask his opinion on every item you buy in the supermarket. But when it comes to larger purchases — like furniture, for instance — you should check what your husband thinks. Even if you know that he’ll agree with whatever you choose, asking for his input will show him that you value him.

  1. Think of His Needs
    Like most people, you’re probably inclined to think of your own needs first. Everyone else’s needs, even your husband’s, tend to come second. But think about it — if you’re putting yourself first, and your husband is putting himself first, then where does that leave your marriage? Probably in the second place — and that’s not where it should be.

So try to see things from his angle and understand what he needs whenever you can. It won’t be easy to disregard your own needs if they conflict his — but it will get better with time.

And you might ask yourself, ‘Why doesn’t he do that for me instead?’ Well, if he truly loves you, he will likely put your needs above his too. But don’t wait around for him to make the first effort — bring positive energy to your marriage on your own.

  1. Try Not to Criticize Him or Speak Negatively of Him
    The last thing you want to bring to your marriage is negative energy, and criticizing is a sure way to do it. That doesn’t mean you should never disagree with your husband — but even when you do, try to express it in a constructive way. If he listens to your concerns but doesn’t change anything, do your best to trust his decisions.

And remember — it’s best to discuss any issues you have with your husband rather than speak negatively of him behind his back. After all, you two are a team, a unit, and you should stick together for better or worse.

  1. Be Intimate Frequently
    Sex isn’t just a fun and stress-relieving pastime — it also helps deepen the bond between you and your husband. You may not need it as often as he does, but don’t deny it to him without a good reason. By satisfying him in the marriage bed, you show that you care about him and his feelings. He’ll know that you can put him first sometimes — even if you aren’t really feeling it that day.
  2. Talk to Him About the Changes in Your Marriage
    When you first decide to submit to your husband, it would be wise to talk to him about it. If he’s used to you taking the lead, this new arrangement might be entirely foreign to him. In fact, he might not know what it entails or what’s expected of him. So it’s up to you to explain and answer any questions that come up.

You both might slip up in your new roles occasionally — that’s perfectly normal in the beginning. Ask your husband to forgive you if you do and remind you that he’s supposed to take the lead now. A good conversation always makes a lot of difference!

  1. Don’t Accept Abusive Behavior
    Submitting to your husband isn’t a bad thing — but only if done correctly. Remember, your husband should treat you with love and respect, not take advantage of you. Don’t ever think that berating, intimidating, or disrespecting is normal. Even submissive wives should have their boundaries, so remember to keep yours firmly in place.

If you do find yourself in an abusive situation, seek help. Turn to your friends, family, or find a good therapist. There are many institutions and professionals that can help you get out — so don’t settle for mistreatment, even of the emotional kind.

In Conclusion
It may seem like submitting to your husband benefits only him, but actually, your whole marriage can flourish thanks to it. He’ll be happy and cherish you more than ever before, so naturally, you will be pleased too. Instead of being two separate individuals, you will be a unit that works together towards the same goal. And that goal is, of course, a blisful marriage.

Know your responsibility in your home

It is one thing to get married and its another thing to maintain your marriage.Some people are so anxious to get married but once they get married, they will neglect their responsibilities and shift everything to their spouse which is totally WRONG.Some men will leave their responsibilities to their wives and will be living as if they are still single.The woman will pay for the children school fees, provide money for food and still cook it,serve it to the husband and still satisfy his sexual needs, wake up to prepare for breakfast and lunch for the family and still go to work.Its an error for a man to leave his duties as a husband and father to his wife.U don’t know that when you leave everything for your wife to cater, all your prestige as a man in the family is gone.Ur children will no longer value you and your wife will be the one the children will be looking up to for everything.When they grow up, they will only have their mother in their eyes and you will be saying that your wife use juju to tie them but it’s not.Its because you have failed to play your role as a good father.U value other people’s affairs more than your family it’s also wrong.Oga how many times did you check your children’s books to see how they are performing in school?How many times did you put them to sleep and accompany them to do their homework? How many times did you play with them just for fun? Remember you will give account of those children to God on the last day.

Also you as a woman, u will leave your responsibility for your husband to shoulder and allow your husband who might have passed through hell in his place of work or shop instead of coming back home to rest,he will meet you lazing about without cooking food.He will still drag his tired body into the kitchen to prepare dinner for you and the kids, and help run the bath for you 😳 Ehhhhh madam your shame dey shame me.He will still wake up early to prepare breakfast and take the kids to school before going to work, my sister u are totally wrong.U leave all household chores for your husband and maid and tomorrow you will be telling us that your husband cheat on you with your house maid ☹️. My sister u need to change for the better before u use your hand drag your husband away.

I’m not saying that when a man cannot meet up with some living expenses,his wife cannot assist.Ur wife can assist but let it be once in a while and also husband can help his wife occasionally but don’t see it as his responsibility to be cooking for you all the time except he is doing it willingly.

Finally, you need to play your roles well as a husband and father so that you will be able to reap good results in the end.U as a woman should also do the same for the smooth managing of the family and may God bless everyone doing their best for their family to live well in Jesus mighty name I pray. Amen.

DO NOT BE CARRIED AWAY

Please before you go into marriage, be convinced that the person you are about to marry is really your hubby or wife.Don’t be carried away by sex, money or gifts. All of them will not make u happy except the person giving it to you. If you hate the person, you will also hate everything about him or her, be careful when choosing a life partner because any mistake from you can cost you a lifetime of happiness and subject you to misery. Pray over your marriage and work on your character for that marriage to work and may God restore peace to every chaotic marriage in Jesus name amen.

ARE YOU PREPARED

Marriage can be bitter and sweet at the same time, your ability to manage your home well makes you worthy of admiration. If you are always avoiding responsibility, u are frustrating your partner and in no distant time he or she will tell you that they are fed up with the marriage. A real man or woman doesn’t shirk responsibility rather they face it and improve more.

MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON

When two incompatible people comes together under the umbrella of marriage it is a pure disaster. Marriage is meant for two compatible people who will be able to endure and tolerate each other’s likes and dislikes . Social media marriage is trending now , make sure that you check the personality of the person you are marrying to avoid marriage today and tomorrow divorce.

BE AN EXAMPLE TO YOUR CHILDREN

Don’t show your children that you love them while your spouse hates them, because you are inculcating in them hatred that might last throughout their lives. Don’t scold your partner in the presence of your children. You are teaching those children bad way of life. Always tell them how you and your partner loves them, you will see that they will grow up showing you and your partner love and taking care of you and your partner.

DO NOT MARRY SOMEONE WITHOUT VISION IN LIFE

Some people don’t know what they want in life. They lack focus, they lack vision and they also lack the ability to think rationally. If you marry such a person, you are bound to be frustrated for life. That’s why young people are advised to check out the person they want to marry. Know if you can tolerate his or her personality. Check out for some warning signs being displayed by the person you are dating. For example, if the person that you are about to marry is showing signs of domestic violence, know that he or she is violent in nature and think twice whether you can cope with it or not, if you can then proceed but if not, then call off the relationship. It is better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage. Don’t rush to marry because every other person is getting married but marry because you are ready and matured to take responsibility of everything you see in it. Above all things, communicate often with your partner and talk things through. Don’t keep it alone or die in silence voice it out and let your partner know what you are expecting from him or her. Finally be prayerful and seek God for more grace to excel.

DON’T BE DECEIVED

Don’t be deceived by the glamorous post of wedding pictures of couples or how they pose while taking a picture. It’s all a cover up. Some of them are going through hell and domestic violence. So don’t use because you saw a post of someone saying how good his or her spouse is and begin to wreck havoc in your own marriage. Remember that what works for Mr Martin cannot work for Mr Paul. So always appreciate your partner over any little gift, it make them feel happy and motivated. Don’t be a source of depression upon your spouse, rather when he or she remembers you, they will rush home leaving everything else behind just to be with you. Cherish what u have and remember love and trust unconditionally.

STOP COMPARING YOUR WIFE WITH OTHERS

This post goes to men.

Some men not all, likes to cheat, while others like to compare their wives with some celebrities who might have undergone plastic surgery.Oga stop comparing your wife with them. I was listening to one of my clients who was lamenting how her husband will be comparing her with Regina Daniels. She is not Regina and will never be, when you are courting her, you know that she is not beautiful like some celebrities yet you decided to confess your love for her. Barely two years in marriage, you will start to get tired of her, you will start to keep late nights, drink and womanize just because you think that she is not good again for you, my brother you are making a big mistake. I know that women can be annoying sometimes,they might tend to piss you off.Take it easy,call her and table your grievance to her and see how she will react. Never raise your hand on your wife because you might loose her or even kill her. Above all things, be considerate, patience and compassionate, you will surely enjoy your wife and marriage to the fullest. A happy woman will build a successful and comfortable home, but an angry woman can wreck havoc. So my brothers, forgive your wife over a small mistake and don’t be a nagging husband but a comforting husband.

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